Wednesday One-Liners Get Some Pussy
Hipster chick with “valley girl” accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys’ confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually...
View ArticleWhether You Find This Cute or Pathetic Says a Lot About You As a Person
Hair-twirling woman: I did actually put sex on the calendar, because it’s only been four months. That’s not long enough for us to stop having sex yet! And I put it on his iPhone, so it popped up a...
View ArticleWe Were Always Jaclyn Smith Men, Ourselves
Queer: She’s very uncomfortable with her face. Well, she is 60. She said to me, “Why can’t I just grow old? Why can’t I just grow old like everyone else?” And I wanted to say, because you’re Farrah...
View ArticleShe Spoke Spanish, or More Specifically, Portuguese
Chick #1: She was from Mexico, or more specifically, Brazil. Chick #2: Oh. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Laura M. Source
View ArticleLet Him Raid My Lost Ark! Enter My Temple Of Doom!
NYU girl #1: What about Harrison Ford? You know, Indiana Jones? NYU girl #2: Ew! He’s like, 80. NYU girl #1: He’s 67, thank you, and I’d wrangle his whip anytime! Source
View ArticleEven More Now that I Know She Pees in Hobo Jars!
NYU ditz #1: So, this hobo on the train is selling Paris Hilton’s urine as perfume! It was all yellow in a jar and he was like, ‘Yeah, she took a piss and I’ve got it to sell — 20 bucks a pop.‘ NYU...
View ArticleA Little Wednesday One-Liner in a Big Pond
Drunk girl: I just love a cock in my mouth! It is a fact of my life, like Blair and Tootie. I want to be carnivorous. I will eat fish if it’s the only thing on the menu, but I really just want some...
View ArticleChocolate, Peanut Butter Still Unaccounted For
Girl #1: So, how was your night last night? Girl #2: Um, I’m pretty sure I have jizz in my hair. Source
View Article…From My Research with Gerbils.
NYU professor with thick french accent: What’s that drug called? Student: Viagra. NYU professor with thick french accent: Yeah, Viagra. Studies suggest that it stimulates organs in both males and...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Keep It in the Family
Guy on cell: Well, right now my brother and my girlfriend share a bedroom. –Washington Square North Overheard by: Daniel Young nanny to six-year-old girl, crossing the street: What do you care about...
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